What We Can Learn from the Destructive Side of Sports
Amateur and professional sports have plenty of examples of destructive behavior. But that shouldn't keep young athletes from participating.
I’ve had a passion for sports since I was about 10 years old. I remember nights at the dinner table when I peppered my dad with questions about who our local sports teams were. (I grew up in Houston, so it was the Astros, Oilers, and Rockets at that time).
I started following baseball, and fell in love with it. I then began keeping up with other sports as their seasons rolled around: football, basketball, hockey… It didn’t take long for me to become a sports fanatic.
I still love sports. That’s one of the reasons I chose to write about it as a career. When I was a kid, I wasn’t naïve about all the negative behavior taking place in youth, college or professional sports. I heard about cheating scandals, players being suspended for drug abuse, and other similar issues. But we didn’t have the Internet, social media, and all the coverage we do today. Now, unfortunately, we are inundated with almost as many shocking headlines as the great catches, home runs and exciting championship victories.
Here’s a look at some of the troubling stories just in the past few weeks:
Las Vegas Raiders head coach Jon Gruden resigns after a batch of emails was leaked that contained deninrating remarks about women, gays and other groups.
Houston Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson, once praised for his charity work in the community, has 22 civil lawsuits pending against him by women claiming he sexually abused them during massage therapy sessions.
A former Chicago Blackhawks video coach is being accused of sexually assaulting a player back in 2010. Then-head coach Joel Quenneville and five other team staff members failed to take action. Quenneville recently resigned as head coach of the Florida Panthers because of the accusations.
In September, reports came out involving rampant sexual abuse, coercion and harassment by National Women’s Soccer League coaches and other male personnel.
Just before I sat down to write this story, I read about an Argentine soccer coach who was shot in the shoulder after fan violence erupted during a match.
And the list goes on.
A Father’s Resistance
All of this disturbing behavior prompted one father to write an opinion piece for the Washington Post in which he vowed to never push his son into sports, citing some of the incidents mentioned above. Josh Pederson also described his own experiences as a child who was not athletic, and the treatment he received from the P.E. teacher who also coached the school’s basketball team.
“I shudder at the thought of his having to endure the kind of silent scorn Mr. Jones inflicted on me,” Pederson wrote. “And I’ve been growing more uncomfortable with the idea that his participation in sports means he could be forced to witness — perhaps even internalize — the ways some coaches, athletes and executives talk about or treat women.
So I’m done pushing him to play sports.”
I certainly understand this dad’s perspective. While my kids are grown now, I was faced with that same choice when they were little. I also have grandkids, who have already seen or experienced their share of mistreatment by people who are supposed to be role models and authority figures.
I think most of us are familiar by now with the benefits kids receive from playing sports. This article cites many of them, along with encouraging parents to not let bad behavior in sports be a deterrent.
The Ugly Truth
Not everyone has a great experience, obviously. Just ask all the boys and girls who were bullied by teammates, verbally or sexually abused by coaches, or who were looked down upon for not being good athletes, like Pederson was. Even if they were great at their sport, the scars and negative memories of those incidents will far outweigh any championship or individual honor they may have won.
Letting Go
In his article, Pederson uses the word “push” when talking about having his son in sports. He relates how much his son resisted playing sports as young as age seven, refusing to participate when his dad signed him up for soccer one year.
I’m not sure that child’s resistance had anything to do with abuse, scandal, cheating, etc. Some kids just don’t have the same passion for sports as their parents do. Mine didn’t, and that’s OK.
But the last lines of Pederson’s letter bring up another point of view that caught my attention. He wrote:
“I’ll encourage him to follow his other passions, for robots and drawing and cooking. And maybe I’ll end up shielding him from the Grudens, the Watsons, the Mr. Joneses of the world — and the degraded brand of manhood they allow, embody and teach.”
I believe I’m in the majority when I say that every parent would like nothing better than to shield their kids from all the evil this world offers. The cruelty, hate, crime, abuse… It’s rampant in our society.
But unfortunately, we can’t protect our children from everything. Even if Pederson and other dads like him succeed in walling off their sons and daughters from the Grudens, Watsons, and negative P.E. teachers and coaches who are allowed access to our children, there will always be situations where we have no control, especially as they get older.
When you drop your kid off at school, you have no idea what happens once you leave the parking lot. The same goes for Boy and Girl Scouts, church youth groups, etc. Even if you think you know the people you’re trusting your child to, you really don’t.
In a recent Better Young Athletes issue, I wrote about the rampant sexual abuse in sports. Marci Hamilton, founder and CEO of Child USA, points out child predators are often pillars of the community, and are quite good at gaining a parent’s trust.
“Child predators that go after series of children groom the parents as much as they groom the children,” Hamilton told me. “Parents need to understand that they are being treated in a special way, sometimes in order to get access to time alone with their children.”
Parents should certainly be diligent in making sure their child is getting the best of treatment in any activity they participate in. But they shouldn’t keep them away from sports simply because they may be exposed to destructive people. Nor should children be afraid to play a sport they love because of media headlines that scream danger.
I lost my wide-eyed innocence of sports a long time ago. The bad press will never stop. But I also personally know many coaches, administrators and others who are in it for the kids, who push them (in the right way) to be better people, not just athletes. If you’re thinking of signing your child up for a sport, do your homework. If the child is eager to participate, let he or she give it a try. If not, help them find another passion. Don’t allow the Grudens, Watsons, and Mr. Joneses ruin what could be a great experience.
Hot Takes and Great Reads
A new program aimed at growing youth soccer in Black communities across the country is taking shape. Known as the Black Star Initiative, this program recently kicked off in Detroit, with a weekend of events that featured a Black business expo, soccer clinics for kids and coaches, along with a showcase for high school boys and girls.
“It’s great for the sport, great for Detroit, great for the youth,” Milton Putman, owner of Complete Dominance Athletics, told ClickOnDetroit.com. “My 8-year-old, he definitely has dreams of being a pro player. So he definitely wanted to get new cleats, new shin guards just to show what he can do out here.”
I hope Detroit is the first of many cities that will follow suit with a program like this.
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The NFL’s Arizona Cardinals are having a great season on the field. But they scored another victory that had nothing to do with the scoreboard.
The Cardinals are teaming up with Dignity Health to give a $50,000 grant for schools throughout the state. According to the team’s website, this grant will be used toward athletic training programs. The National Football League Foundation and the Arizona Interscholastic Association (AIA) are also joining in the partnership.
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It’s good to see youth sports returning to action following the pandemic. But naturally, some parents are concerned whether their kids should participate, or that wearing masks may minimize their performance.
This is not the case. Doctors are documenting evidence that kids can safely compete with a cloth mask or face covering, even during sports with high intensity levels.
A recent study says cloth masks had no effect on performance, peak power, rating of perceived exhaustion, heart rate and other factors.
Click here to check out the study.
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